It’s Christmas Eve, 2021, and the sun is peeking out over the blue mountains where our cabin is nestled in the Appalachains. The sunrise magnifies the green of the grass and deepens the shadows of the fog. I havn’t been here for two years, and probably another two years before that. This place has always been a source of healing for me. As a kid, it was the place where I found a childhood. It was the place where I could play and explore and commune with nature—where my sensitive soul felt comforted and my larger-than-life personality had plenty of room to roam.
I’m here again following many hard, unsettling times. The year 2020 brought a global pandemic, with its lockdowns and locking out of human interaction and connection. I am here to see my father and stepmother after two years apart. The past two years also brought great distress in the building of a dissertation, but also a great sense of achievement at its completion and the earning of my doctorate. I ended a long, painful relationship that both broke my heart and set me free. I healed old wounds that had long festered and hidden themselves away from the light. I brought them out, cleaned and aired them, stitched them and let them heal over. I put myself out there in a real way for the first time in over ten years, and I found some comfort, but also another heartbreak.
I am here again to heal, to remind myself of the many possibilities of life and Earth and the Universe. This plane of existence is but a small fraction of what is on offer, and yet it alone offers so very much.
These people remind me what it means to love and be loving. This place reminds me what it means to breathe deep and feel fully alive and connected. I am grateful, my heart healing and filling with joy and gratitude.
In a few days, I will return back to the daily bustle, start a new job that is structured and just left of my personal center. I will reach out to friends to maintain those beautiful relationships. I will return to routine and writing. I will take these pieces of my life and build something familiar but new, merging the pieces with shimmering, sturdy gold. I will shine brighter, live fuller, love more deeply. I will hold onto this stage of live and live in it, not beyond it.
As the sun continues to rise, and the contrast of colors and shadows diminishes, my eyes and heart will hold to the verdant greens and deep blues, rejoicing at the beauty and magic that will always be there when we look for it.