What makes you happy? What do you want out of life? What are your passions? We are asked many versions of these questions from a very young age, but are often urged to answer in a certain way. “I want to be a doctor when I grow up” or “I love math” over “I love…
Abortion Rights are Disability Rights, Women’s Rights, and ALL Our Rights
In light of recent events, I’d like to take a moment and offer up some considerations about abortion that we don’t often hear brought into the discussion. Two points, really, about the state of our healthcare system and the state of our society. First, I’d like to be very clear on three things: 1. I…
Suffer Together
Some might say that pain and grief pull people together. I would disagree, though my reasons for disagreement have changed greatly over time. Over the past two months, I have awoken with some amount of pain in my eyes most mornings. Although my rheumatoid arthritis is currently in remission, any excess inflammation always shows up…
In Secure
Are you secure? This word, secure, shows up in a lot of different aspects of the English language. You can secure your belongings. Your home can be secure. You can feel secure in who you are. You can even feel a secure attachment in your relationships. What does it mean to be secure as opposed…
Reality Check
Most of us live the majority of our lives half in and half out of reality. Indeed, our versions of reality are so very different from those of others, as well as so very different depending upon the time period we live in, our age, the current version of ourselves, etc. Each of these realities…
What’s Self-Love Got to Do with It?
What does love mean to you? The actual word: Love. What does it mean? When I say “love,” do you think of red roses and candy hearts? Do you think of warm hugs and that delicious neck smell of your romantic partner? Maybe you think about shared stories and laughter with your friends and family….
Her Story
I forget sometimes that most of the people who know me today don’t know my story. Most of them may not even suspect there is much of a story. The further I get from my last eye surgery (almost 4 years ago now), the closer to symmetrical my face gets. My eyes will probably always…
Post-Traumatic Stress Identity
At a new moon ceremony this weekend, my friend and spiritual leader Kelly made the astute observation that while trauma will shape our lives in large and small ways, it doesn’t have to define who we are. While I have whole-heartedly agreed with this sentiment for years now, there is a third step to this…
Not Okay, Okay?
Don’t you want kids? Like many other single women in their 20s and 30s, I’ve been asked this question so many times over the past 15 years. I doubt many men are asked this very often—maybe on dates? And for most of those years, my answer was either a hard “No” or a waffling, “Maybe?…
Déjà You
Do you ever hear someone describing another person and have this déjà vu moment remembering a time when people used to say those same things about you? Sometimes it brings up memories of a part of your life you’d rather forget, like, “She was a real party girl” or “You could never really depend on…